Peacock Dreams

As usual, on this day I enjoin you to read Frederick Douglass. This year, I don't have commentary. You may make up your own.

blessed be

I talk a lot about epiphanies – touches from divine source – and how, though they feel transformative, most often do not have lasting results because the way we live our lives does not support change. This is what I mean when I say we need to bring our lives into alignment with desire and will.

The great American writer Jean Toomer states:

We must not expect one act of liberation, one note
of transformation, to produce a whole new being.

It takes a well-spent lifetime, and perhaps more, to
crystallize in us that for which we exist.

The growth of a human being is a dynamic symphony
of forces playing in this field of force that is
ourselves.

We start with gifts. Merit comes from what we make
of them.

All beings find it difficult to merit growth beyond
growth.


What growth are you willing to embrace, and then let go of so it may shift and change? The tree does not cling to the first flush of green nor to the fullness of fruit. The tree is simply in process, along with all that lives and dies and lives again. We often expect things to go quickly for us, having lost a sense of cycle, and season, and the subtle shifts of earth. The mountain is not as stable as it looks. The whole world dances. Growth accrues over time, slowly, not in a sudden burst. A sudden bursting may signify the cracking open of the old and the rising of the new, but nothing remains in that state.

It is only in our willingness to sense the lessons of each act of liberation that we gain in true power, and the suppleness that will sustain our practices and engage us fully in a deep commitment to our lives and, by extension, the lives of every other being. Every other being: every cup, car, and tree, every house, wave, and mote of dust, every badger and every flea.

What do you desire? What is your will? Do these two meet within you? Is something brought to birth, or do you starve it until it withers inside? Can you hear the dynamic symphony of this very day?

Find it in you, raise your eyes
Look beyond the place you stand
Towards the furthest reaches
And to the smallest of things
The sound you are hearing
Is the symphony of what we are
Revelation will not come
With heart and mind closed and divided - VNV Nation, "Perpetual"

I had a good weekend in Denver attending INATS, giving soul readings at SpiritWise and a talk at Isis. What I noticed most in my encounters this weekend is that many of us are at a cusp right now. We can choose to step fully forward, in all our parts, into our finest, boldest, most beautiful lives. But mostly, we hold ourselves back. Why? Fear. Disconnection. The comfort of the known. But these times call upon us to step up and shine.

Monday, my plane landed at 8pm and friends whisked me directly to the VNV Nation concert, which was a very shamanic experience for me. Despite having wildly danced the night previous to an overtly shamanistic band, LunarFire, I did not have the shamanic experience there that VNV evokes within me. In podcast #6 of Elemental Castings, I spoke with Jason Pitzl-Waters about the magic of club dancing, and how I love to move energy there, and ride the waves of music. Just as Iamblichus wrote that each soul has its own path of holiness, I think also that each soul has its own music.

VNV uses lights that flash directly at the audience, which causes shifts in the brainwaves. Add in the power of Mark Jackson on drums and the pure heart and voice of Ronan Harris, coupled with lyrics that inspire, and I was transported. There were times when the ballroom completely fell away, and my soul was simply moving out on light and sound. All cultures use music to induce altered states. This is my music. This is my culture. And this concert was like the best rituals I have participated in. It moved in cascading waves.

One thing I love about VNV's magic is that I often associate transformative states of consciousness coming from a person on a stage with their personal charisma. Ronan is not charismatic. A bald, aerobically inclined, portly, middle-aged Irishman with a strange sense of humor (and he was Chatty Cathy this concert!), he seems like just another man until he sings. Then something moves through him. Something More. It is as if his heart cracks open and the spirit of the music moves straight from that large heart and out upon his voice, affecting the whole room. Meanwhile, Mark Jackson stands like a giant, back-lit messiah on his dais, pumping out the rhythm to which we all dance. They are Priests of Prometheus, enjoining us to take the fire of the Gods.

When I saw VNV two years ago, I suggested we form the Autonomous Idealist Vanguard. This concert left me wishing for us all to burn brightly, to shine, to become our best selves, to spread our wings and fly. And yeah, that is pretty idealistic, but it's just the way I roll.

I was too tired from the weekend to go meet the band at the after party, but am kind of glad for that. I wanted the music, their music, to carry me home.

Our so called "negative emotions" can be great purifiers. Trouble with these emotions comes, for most of us, from one of two directions: we get trapped in them or we try to squash them into non-existence. We either give them pride of place or we diminish and trivialize them. Both of these give our anger, our sorrow, our sense of betrayal or loss far too much power. Both of these methods twist our hearts and souls.

Allowing these emotions into our lives, however, so that we can experience them fully and seek the lessons they are pointing to is of great help to us. In this way, anger, jealousy, or sorrow become our teachers, and point the way toward greater integration. The fires within that are stoked by these emotions become the fires of purification, lending greater clarity to mind and heart once they have burned through. But this requires staying with ourselves in the midst of difficulty. This requires not running away from ourselves, our emotions, or our thoughts. It also requires not getting fully tangled up in the thoughts and emotions that wish to grab our state and spiral it into a much larger force than it needs to become. When we do this, the emotion controls us and we are no longer in a balanced relationship with it.

If we are able to feel the strong emotion, stay with it, express our relationship to it, open to the lessons it brings, and remain connected to our practice purification becomes possible.

And following purification, there is greater lightness, greater connection, and further opening to Love. There is nothing in this world that is not part of some greater whole. The sense of disconnection is only our perception. That which makes me angry is a part of me, for we are all part of God Herself. That which causes sorrow is a part of me, for we are all part of God Herself.

What will happen to the world if humans engaged in listening and reconciliation instead of war? What will happen to the world if we speak to the forests and rivers and come to accommodation so that all forces may run according to some greater good? What will happen if we listen to ourselves in pain, or to our friends, and seek to keep center, boundary and a sense of connection simultaneously?

This all takes skill, preparation, development of the muscles of love and will, it is true. We will stumble on our way. But we can learn in this way. Every mistake becomes then, not a failure, but a stepping stone.

The fires of purification are our friends. Be not afraid. Or hold your fear close and enter anyway. That is courage.

I wish courage for us all.

I feel grateful to be Pagan after a day like yesterday, which was spent in a park amongst towering redwoods, singing the union of two couples who were pledging to each other for a year and a day. Their children were assured of a continuing firm foundation as the married partners in each couple pledged love and support to their partners in the other couple. Yes, a foursome was handfasted. The priest officiating the ceremony called their union a Quadriga, after the ancient chariot drawn by four horses, all pulling in the same direction.

We celebrate love in many forms of expression. I feel grateful for the braiding of love in my own life.

May the Gods of love smile upon us, may the Goddesses dance in our hearts, may God Herself show us the weave of love, and our part in it, may love be respectful, joyous, and long lasting. May we stand tall to meet it, basking in its warmth, opening to its pleasure, and supported by its power.

What burns in me, today, like the sun reaching for full height and the earth seeking out that warm embrace? And conversely, what tilts from light on some internal, Southern shore, throwing parts of me into deep shadow?

I am the sun, and I am questing for the sun. Every cell inside relates me to this fact: the earth moves, and the sun is standing still. The earth revolves, and the sun burns. What inside of me feels strong? What in me dances and reaches like the mighty trees and flowers?

Outside my window, the sun seems on the rise. Where am I in relation to my soul? Something too, is rising. What burns in me, today? How does my purpose reflect the qualities of shine and shadow? What reaches and what hides?

There is a star in each of us that gives off light and warmth. We can open to receive that glorious splendor.

Where I live, the Northern Solstice occurs at 10:46pm tonight, though it will be eclipsed by the earth's shadow by that time. I will be waiting for this moment, gathered with my friends. Today, and tomorrow that follows, are days of reflection. Reflection of light and shadow. Reflection of potential and growth. I will meditate on purpose and on justice. I will meditate on that which shines and that which receives light. These are also days of celebration. I will celebrate love in all its forms: the gathering of friendship, the sharing of wine, the kisses of my lovers, and the witnessing of vows taken and the giving of oaths. Perhaps there will be dancing.

What is burning in your heart today? What does your soul desire?

Whether we live in bright or shadow, whether we walk outside in North or South, together, can we try?

Blessings of this time be with you. Blessings of this time.

(Locke) says 'neither Pagan nor Mahomedan nor Jew ought to be excluded from the civil rights of the Commonwealth because of his religion.' Shall we suffer a Pagan to deal with us and not suffer him to pray to his god? Why have Christians been distinguished above all people who have ever lived, for persecutions? Is it because it is the genius of their religion? No, it's genius is the reverse. It is the refusing toleration to those of a different opinion which has produced all the bustles and wars on account of religion. - Thomas Jefferson


I had the pleasure of hearing the wicked smart Professor Barbara McGraw speak on separation of church and state last night.

This author of several books, including Rediscovering America's Sacred Ground her talk outlined why the polarized debate between the false opposites of "The Secular Left" and "The Christian Right" is not helpful to our projects nor are either what the Founders envisioned.

A ruling body has no right to tell us how to worship, not worship, practice or not practice, yet that does not mean religious expression ought to be left out of the public sphere.

The Founders outlined far greater religious pluralism than we currently engage with in public fora. In our quest for tolerance, we have limited debate and ceased to put forth our own deeper principles around issues such as abortion rights, environmental protection, the rights of children, civil rights for queer families and a whole host of other issues currently on the table of debate. McGraw argues that in not rooting the debates in deep principles, for example in couching abortion rights as "choice" rather than emphasizing the sanctity of a woman's life over the life of a fetus, we water down our arguments and give the narrow, literalist Christian right a louder voice, because it is a voice with a stronger foundation.

What are the foundations we stand upon? What is really important to us and why? We do not want government telling us what to believe and how to practice, it is true, but that does not mean that my sense of the Sacred here on earth does not inform my practice of going to the soup kitchen every week. It does not mean that my sense that "all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals" should not enter the debate around the rights of a gay man to be at his partner's death bed.

Newt Gingrich and Mike Huckabee are wrong: the U.S. is not a Christian nation. But does that does mean we need be a-religious? Even the God of Reason has a place here. We can come from a strong ethical stance rooted in whatever beliefs we may have, be we a reasonable Atheist, Hindu, Buddhist, Pagan, Christian or Jew. McGraw's thought of expanding - rather than de-limiting out of politeness - public debate is refreshing to me, and could only help to improve our critical thinking skills.

Jefferson wrote: I am satisfied the good sense of the people is the strongest army our government can ever have, and that it will not fail them.

Good sense has failed us, because too many of us ceased to think for ourselves, allowing the old top down government to rise again, and allowing people we disagree with to set the terms of the debate. What would happen if we took back the reins of principle and reason, and spoke from our conscience, spirit and heart?

I do not know, but while elections in the U.S. have been stolen with barely a whimper because of a populace numbed by years of apathy and plenty, the people in Iran are rising up. The debate continues. Possibility is present, but we have to learn again to step forward, and to choose.


[side note: if you have not yet listened to my podcast with Selena Fox, our talk on civil liberties and Paganism may be of interest. Podcast on Fire is running late, but coming soon! Check them out on the link above, or subscribe via iTunes. And this post is part of Pagan Values Blogging Month]

Because I have nothing to add to the internet and BBC reports of the situation in Iran, I will simply wish you all a Happy Bloomsday and leave you with this quote, as written to have been said by Stephen Daedelus:

Every life is many days, day after day. We walk through ourselves, meeting robbers, ghosts, giants, old men, young men, wives, widows, brothers-in-love. But always meeting ourselves. The playwright who wrote the folio of this world and wrote it badly (He gave us light first and the sun two days later), the lord of things as they are whom the most Roman of catholics call dio boia, hangman god, is doubtless, all in all of us, ostler and butcher, and would be bawd and cuckold too but that in the economy of heaven, foretold by Hamlet, there are no more marriages, glorified man, an androgynous angel, being a wife unto himself.

Here's to freedom of speech (and the Lesbians who upheld this) and freedom of expression.

We walk through ourselves. Have a good, blooming day.

The great William James wrote of the "Varieties of Religious Experience", which is a book I recommend if you haven't already had the pleasure.

Today, while walking home from brunch, to which I had treated myself because the kitchen was ill stocked after my recent trip, I was educated about yet another variety of religious experience: The Blessing of the Bikes. I saw that the little church near by was mobbed, and had a sign out advertising the event, so I crossed the street to the opposite sidewalk only to find two bikers in full colors watching me. I took the opportunity to ask for an explanation, only to be told that this was not a one time happening. Motorcycle clubs and solo bikers attend bike blessings every year, and have for decades.

This apparently began over 30 years ago in Michigan, as a way to start motorcycle season in foul weather states. It has since grown exponentially and along with getting bikes prayed over for safety's sake, is most often used to raise funds for charity. The Cathedral of St. John the Divine in NYC does a mass bicycle blessing instead.

The impulse toward ritual – and some would say, toward superstition – exists everywhere. I would say it was an impulse toward the sacred, as strong as a heterosexual male biker's impulse to check out a woman's backside as she walks away.

I think William James might just agree.

I am in Portland. After a good event at Ancient Light in Seal Rock, I'm staying with friends and drinking tea. The sky outside is grey. Tonight, I will give a talk at Sekhet-Maat Lodge, and tomorrow, will see still more friends.

My thoughts today are simple: Integrity is worth the effort. Friends are a blessing. Love is still the way.

light in extension - Thorn

Pax decreed June Pagan Values Blogging Month. This morning's meditation gave rise to the following text which could be considered a musing on the value Pagans place upon the cyclical nature of all things. We do not always do very well in honoring that value, but it is a good one to return to. Pardon the pun:


In every template of destruction rests the template of creation.

Every time your heart is broken, a gift arises if you let it. The caterpillar must die. And it is only through struggle and breaking of old forms that a butterfly becomes strong enough to survive.

In each template of destruction rests a template of creation.

Those of you in chronic physical pain, what is the gift and what is the burden of that pain? There is never simply one thing or another. The pain is a teacher, an opener of the way, and the pain is also a burden to be carried. Sometimes pain teaches patience, or resilience, or compassion even while we are crying out to be relieved.

When one thing is made more difficult, what becomes easier? What shapes the figure on the canvas, the shape the dancer takes on stage, the structure of the building or the poem? What shapes our hearts and souls? Bitterness can water seeds of joy. If we let it.

In every template of destruction rests the template of creation.

The hail that wrecks the crops is the seed of something new to come. The tower falls to make space for a new foundation and new rising.

Look at your sorrow and your anger and your pain. What is hidden there? What are the lessons, should you seek them? If your life is falling apart, opportunity is on its way.

And remember, too, every time you create, something else will be destroyed. The new pattern supersedes the old. And that is as it should be. Nothing can form inside of you without something else giving way. And so it is that carrots displace soil while being nurtured by that very thing they are displacing. In the cycle of the year, things rise and fall.

Be not afraid. Make a choice. The cycle is ever turning itself around.

I am helping out Gus diZerega who needs a wee break after finishing a new book. As some of you know, he is now the official Beliefnet Pagan Blogger.

You may therefore read today's post on impermanence and change over at a different site. I kind of like that.

My prayers and thoughts go out to the family of Dr. George Tiller, who was killed in his Kansas church today.


In the late '80s, I did a lot of clinic defense. I also made the very difficult choice to have an abortion myself. I am grateful that I had that choice - in my early 20s when the condom broke - and grateful that I was able to make choices that have led me to no further pregnancies since then. It was not a decision I wanted to make. It was one I thought long and hard over. And it is a choice I am very grateful I was able to have safe access to.

As a Pagan, I recognize that life is sacred. So is death. All is in a cycle, and each of us makes choices about whether to take or give life moment to moment. Some we don't even think about: every time we breathe in, things die. Every time we eat, we take a life so life can continue. Every time we create, something lives. Every act of love brings the possibility of more life.

Dr. George Tiller, I am sure that many women and men who felt backed up against the wall, with limited life choices, will remember you with kindness and gratitude.

When the Dalai Lama visited Martin de Porres House of Hospitality.

And if you missed the account, here it is.

Today, I recommit to practice, to teaching, to listening. I recommit to the health of my body and the wonders of breath. I recommit to opening spirit and heart to incipient joy. Today, I recommit to these city streets, to the flowering bushes, to the birds in flight and the scent of ocean. Today, I recommit to living my life on the path which I now follow and to releasing all those ways that might have been. Today, I recommit to love.

I am here. Now. Crowned with grace and stepping forward in sturdy boots and jeans.

How about you?

Love is still the Law, regardless of what the Supreme Court of California rules.

Love each other fiercely and with tenderness.

I will be going to the Lafayette war memorial on Monday, because people are still killed in war. We will place a pentacle for Sgt. Jason Schumann, enlisted at 17 and dead at 23, father and husband. We shall also recall Sgt. Joseph Ford, a Pagan member of Nova Roma who died in Iraq last May.

Memorial Day, for me, is also a day to remember the 100,000 estimated civilians killed in Iraq since 2003, the more than 2,000 dead in Afghanistan just last year, the close to 5,000 US soldiers dead in Iraq and Afghanistan and the 30,000 wounded, and countless others with psychological and emotional distress.

I also will be there for the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, for the soldiers who have told me they carry my books with them overseas, and for anyone who is trying to make a life in the midst of the hideous mess of war.

I will stand at the foot of that hill in Lafayette – with Pagan veterans, and other coreligionists come to honor the dead – as one who has worked against war and its manufacture for 27 years.

When taps rises on the air from the trumpet of a Heathen veteran, I will pray for us all: Pagan, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Atheist, Bah'ai, Jain, Humanist and Jew. May we know some peace.

What is remembered, lives.

I added a late edit to the bottom of Feet of Clay, part 3.

Clay Feet part 3


The Frosts are old school. In a few ways, they remind me of Victor Anderson. And even though people may disagree with their take on it, they have a deep love of the Craft. Gavin also has a strong anti-Christian bias which comes out in the podcast, and I overheard Yvonne talking of "that dirty Gregory" meaning Pope Gregory of Gregorian calendar fame. You know, the one many of us currently use. They also don't seem to like to explain themselves. Victor was this way too, never wanting to tell whether he got this idea from Margaret Murray or that one from his own spiritual explorations. We had to figure it out on our own, or take everything at his word. He was also a trickster teacher. I don't know if the Frosts are or not, as I have not studied them very well.

There is also the outsider status they seem to promulgate. In the podcast, you will hear Yvonne speak of "locking our shields" though I am not sure against what or whom. I can respect this, given where they have come from and the trials they must have faced over the years. I also don't think it is the reality most of us live with these days, as Paganism has become one of the fastest growing religions in the US and Australia and even Christians are marketing videotapes with breathing exercises. We may still be discriminated against, but in many other ways, the culture war has been won.

All of this maundering is simply me trying to put together the complex picture of these people who have taught thousands and remained on the very fringes of Paganism for all these years because so many just don't want to deal with them. Some people no longer even know who they are, yet others go to hear them speak at festivals. The only reason I am writing about them now was I happened to be at a festival with them and then decided to invite them onto the panel.

I am struggling with the Frosts. Struggling because it would be too easy to do as others have which is to demonize them or relegate them to the "sweet old couple." They are something far more varied than either of these. Some people want to sweep them under a rug, but I do not think they should be ignored.

Why? We need to figure out our theolog(ies). We need to know where we stand on sex. Many of us would still rather just suppress it like the overculture teaches us, because abuse may happen otherwise, or we may need to deal with our own demons. I say that abuse happens because of the suppression. Our demons grow stronger the more we constrict around our fears. Abuse happens when we don't deal with our own sexuality, and we don't teach our children about their own. And abuse sometimes just happens. And if nothing else, we end up prey to the media that uses degraded sexuality to attempt to coerce us into buying more things out of insecurity. And we are made to feel badly about our glorious bodies because we do not have airbrushed thighs and six-pack abs.

Many of us would rather just suppress sex in favor of the cleaned up phrase of "life force" because we don't want to deal with our own complex emotions around pleasure, and sexual wounding, and emotional pain, and vulnerability and the very real, potent power that tapping into love, lust, sex and life force brings. Sex is not just genital pleasure, but it is not just the trees rooting into earth, either. It is all of this, and more. Our orgasms sing along with the stars in the sky. We are all part of the processes of creation, destruction, and rebuilding.

If sex is sacred, we need to figure out how that translates and is reflected in our own lives, and in how we pass on that teaching.

And this is why, Gavin and Yvonne, as two people who have taught many others, I wish you would explain. Or I wish you would retract. Or I wish you would apologize. We could use discerning words from you instead of simply a shut down or blustering defense, or the insistence that those who disagree with you are "plastic".

Gavin, when you brought up AJ Drew on the panel, you said you stand by what you wrote 30 years ago, and this troubles me as much as his plan to ritually sacrifice your images did. It is why I mumbled a sleep-deprived non-sequitur about consent in there somewhere - because I had no desire to derail the panel into an off topic shouting match about sexual ethics. Though come to think of it, that might have been entertaining. But shouting matches are not what I'm about. I would rather engage in dialog. But I do not know if you are interested. Are you? I asked you two about your controversial nature over dinner because I was hoping to hear something in your own words, but felt like things got a bit cagey. So I'll ask a couple more questions now:

What do you really think, today, about the sexual education of children? Is sex between adolescents with adults really the best way they should learn these mysteries? How did you teach your own daughter to appreciate the powers of sex, love, and Nature?

I know what I hope your answers are. I hope you will say that those words written almost 40 years ago were a thought experiment that you have since rethought. That children should be taught their bodies are sacred, should be talked with about sexuality, pleasure, and reproduction in various age appropriate ways, and then left to sexual exploration with others of their own age group, with parents around to answer still more questions when the time does arrive. Oh, and that heterosexuality is not the only sacred option.

And how about the rest of my readers? What do you think about your own relationship to sex? To magic? To life force? To our process? To mistakes? To feet of clay? To your own regrets? To the sacred? To teaching our children?

Thanks for bearing with me, and reading to the end of this long, three part post. We need to embrace the challenges that face us. There is, as always, a lot more that could and perhaps should, be said. There is a lot of conversation to be had about leadership, holding teachers accountable, and about sex, theology, and training in general. Hopefully we have a long time to help each other figure some of it out.

Blessed be.



[late edit: I should mention that recent editions of this book now have a brief introduction to the chapter in question in which it is stated: "No formal initiation into a group that practices the great rite should be done before the candidate attains the age of eighteen." However, as an author myself, I feel that a thorough explanation of why they would have included initiatory instructions for pubescent youths in their book in the first place would have been merited. Or, as an author, I would have stricken these pages from later editions of my book. To have done neither feels less than responsible to their students and readers. My apologies for not mentioning this before, but because of the layout of the book, I completely missed this brief introduction upon first reading.]

Clay Feet part 2

I want to begin this round by saying some good things about the Frosts. They are warm, friendly, welcoming people. When Yvonne first saw me, she graciously inquired if I was T. Thorn Coyle and gave me a big hug. They have worked to teach their version of the Craft for 40 years and have always been open about their religious beliefs, including when they lived in rural Missouri in the 1970s. The sheriff, police and people at the local diner all knew the Frosts were Witches. For that alone, we can be grateful. They also have passed on sound advice about coven ethics, the consequences of doing negative magic, and sex magic among consenting adults.

I myself am sex positive. You will often hear me quip "I love my religion!" and part of that is the non-transcendent love and reveling in sexuality, good food, dance, music, connection with Nature and all of the other good things that come from embodied spirituality. As a baby Pagan, I had my own trouble with sexual coercion by a teacher but was later taught that sex was sacred and that sex and magic go together where coercion is absent. I was taught that leaders who use their teaching or magic as ways to get sex are suspect. Sex is natural. Sex is holy. Sex should be a joyous coming together and a reflection of the powers of Nature in full fecund swing, and of the processes of God Herself, ever creating, ever changing. There is nothing quite like a holy kiss. Pleasure is a sacrament to be celebrated. And the sacred should never be profaned by lack of consent.

So this is also where the Frosts and I part company. And this is where people start foaming at the mouth and threatening, as AJ Drew unfortunately did, to sacrifice them in effigy. There is still that book, written in 1970, filled with misguided instruction, the most flagrant of which is the ritual deflowering of adolescent girls, by themselves, with full instruction of how to use the sacred phalli... in order to ready them for sexual initiation into the coven. By adults. The pubescent boy goes with the female adult and the pubescent girl goes with a male adult. The Great Rite occurs.

This is not only illegal, it is not OK. There is no way that this does not involve coercion because a 12 or 15 year old simply cannot give real consent to sex with a 30 year old. The power dynamic is too skewed. This is why adults do not have sex with children (unless they are pedophiles, who have a specific mental illness that has wired them wish to do what is not right).

This instruction, to me, is a violation of the sacrality of sex, of the celebration of this glorious part of my connection with Nature.

Do I think the Frosts have sex with children? I doubt it. But as an author, who knows the power of the written word, I wish they would explain. I wish they would retract. The fact that they have not taints their work for me and makes me wonder why they are invited to festivals to teach... And I like the Frosts. Remember, they are gracious, kind, warm, funny, knowledgeable, and apparently dance a mean tango. I am not here to demonize them, but to voice concerns.

Here is my supposition of one way this writing may have come about. I repeat, this is only my fantasy of how this may have happened:

The Frosts rightly saw the sexual repression and hypocrisy of the US in the 50s and the attempts to change that in the late 60s and early 70s. They may have seen that the way children were taught about their bodies, physicality and sex was something that fostered systems of shame and oppression. "What if, as a culture, we taught our children that sex was good, healthy, natural, and sacred?" they may have asked each other. Good questions, and one that many Pagan parents likely ask. Then those Pagan parents likely try to figure out ways to teach their children appropriately.

The Frosts, drawing on some archeological evidence for sacred phalli (I got this from them when I asked about the controversy point blank over dinner one night), came up with the idea for the girl to ritually break her own hymen, by herself, with instruction from the parents. I said that I had trouble with the "children having sex" part of this, and was told it was not sex. As a sometime dildo user, I disagreed.

I was not, at that time, aware that the ritual hymen breaking was preparation for sexual initiation or I would have pressed the point more keenly. Then Gavin kindly gifted me with the book in question, so I could see what the fuss was about myself. Things became more clear.

As a sex positive magical practitioner, the segment on initiation of adolescents was hard to read. As an author and teacher, who tries to act as responsibly as possible, it seemed to be evidence of startling irresponsibility and the promotion of something very wrong.

And I still had a panel to sit on. And I still had to struggle with what my responsibility was. As we all do.


to be continued...